If you had told me on my birthday last year that one year later, I would be in another country sharing my story about my journey with a mental health diagnosis, I would not have believed you. In June last year my mind was still in a haze from being on anti-psychotic medication. By April this year I started sharing my testimony in person of God's faithfulness in bringing me through one year since the diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder 1, first in my local church, then at a church in Buenos Ayres the following month. In May I partnered with ISCF Grenada to share my testimony at a seminar they hosted which was designed to enlighten young people about the challenges of mental health, and I also shared my testimony at the church I fellowshipped at while I was living in Grenada.
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| Psychologist Gillian Baptiste shared from a professional viewpoint while I shared from my experience |
In June I was invited to travel to St. Vincent to share my story as part of a regional summit hosted by Response Caribbean: a network of Community Based Organizations and Faith Based Organizations throughout the region which have formed an alliance to help countries in the region in the event of a natural disaster. I shared about the importance of taking care of your mental health, and shared strategies which can be helpful in managing stress. I also shared what I learnt following my diagnosis, about the importance of taking care of myself instead of giving constantly, and not thinking that I am indispensable. Afterwards many persons expressed their appreciation for this message, as they fell in that category of working non-stop without any meaningful rest. They thought that the information that was shared was helpful and informative.
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| The summit was held on board the Logos Hope and included presenters from Haiti and Dominica apart from T&T |
Since I had a few more days in St. Vincent, I scheduled additional sessions with persons I had never met before using contacts that I had. The day before my birthday I shared with about 50 students from ISCCF St. Vincent. Following that session students thanked me for my openness and vulnerability in sharing my story. The morning of my birthday, I shared a message on 'Standing in the midst of adversity' with a group of sisters from various churches, using my testimony as an example. This session was followed by a period of questions and answers, at the end of which I was able to connect persons in need of further help with resources they didn't know were available in St. Vincent. Many were happy to know that they were not dealing with mental health issues alone, and that they could reach out for support instead of suffering in silence.
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| When these ladies found out it was my birthday, they blessed me with this lovely surprise! |
Following that session I met up with two young ladies in ministry for lunch and, after I shared my story, one of them opened up about challenges that she was experiencing where she was serving. I encouraged her to take a break, which she did not think was possible, but after hearing my encouragement to take care of her mental health, she decided to apply for time off and it was granted! My heart was so full when I checked in with her a few days later and she reported that she was doing much better. Later that afternoon I shared my story with another group of women, some of whom were also having mental struggles. There was an open discussion afterwards, and at the end they thanked me for using my challenges to bring encouragement to others, and for pouring into God's kingdom with grace and kindness. Afterwards I went out to dinner with a psychologist I never met before, but she was intrigued to meet someone who was so willing to talk openly about their mental health diagnosis.
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| We were just supposed to go out for ice cream but when they found out it was my birthday they insisted we do dinner instead :) |
The following day was Father's Day, but Pastor Fidel graciously allowed me time in their Sunday morning service to share my testimony. Persons were again grateful for my openness to share about my journey, and found it to be helpful and encouraging. I give ALL THE GLORY TO GOD because without Him, I would not be where I am today. I am also grateful for the unwavering support of my family, my friends who are my family, my prayer partners, my psychologist and my psychiatrist, all of whom played critical roles in my recovery. I will continue to use any opportunity that is presented to me to show how followers of Jesus are not super-heroes, but are humans who are subject to limitations and not immune from trials.
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| Even though I didn't spend my actual birthday on the beach, I made up for it afterwards! |
This trip to St. Vincent was also a testimony of God making provision for me. When I went to St. Vincent, there was only one person I had a relationship with; by the time I left, I had at least 8 persons I could call on if I needed anything! When we left Trinidad, we did not know for sure where we would be staying after our initial three days on board the Logos; the day before we were scheduled to leave, we found out that our initial accommodation, which we were told was booked, was now in fact available, and we didn't have to pay to use it! God also provided transportation to and from every speaking engagement that I had, and even to Bequia where a lovely couple that I had never met before were our personal tour guides for the day! Did I also mention that we had perfect weather for each of our beach days?
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| Aunty Jean and Uncle Len took the best care of us :) |
I distinctly remember that last year when I was in the height of my manic episode in the hospital, I told my loved ones to make note of what was happening, because I didn't want anyone else to have to experience what I went through. I am so thankful to God for the privilege of being used as a vessel to help persons with mental struggles to know that they are not alone, and to share with others the importance of taking care of their mental health, so they can avoid the mistakes I made. I can truly say that I have seen firsthand the fulfilment of Psalm 71:20 -
