Not a failure but a success!

For the past 43 years Ekklesia Word Ministries has been hosting an evangelistic day camp on Carnival Monday and Tuesday in the community of Point Fortin. What started with just a few friends and their children in the living room of Terrence and Carol Pierre has now grown to hundreds of campers, from babies to adults, gathering to hear a clear presentation of the gospel instead of indulging in the revelry that occurs just a few kilometers away in the heart of Point Fortin. Those who come to camp enjoy an uplifting time of worship, engaging Bible lessons, fun craft, exciting activities that reinforce the lessons taught and a delicious free lunch.

This year we had close to 300 campers!

The months leading up to Ekklesia camp were not without their share of challenges. We began planning for camp in October last year. When I started asking the persons who have volunteered to teach in the past if they would be available to serve at Ekklesia camp 2025, I got multiple "no's" before I got my first "yes". Someone who had volunteered to serve for the first time ended up hospitalized for two weeks at the end of January with swelling in the brain due to an infection. Two others who were excited about teaching for the first time were unable to come, one due to a death in the family, and the other due to having to care for a sick family member. One month before camp started the person in charge of providing our camp jerseys (collecting orders, purchasing jerseys, dropping to the printers) got into an accident where her car was hit from behind. Three weeks before camp, one of our key camp leaders suffered the loss of his pastor, who was also his spiritual mentor. Apart from coping with this loss and having major responsibilities in preparing for the funeral, he was also dealing with an injury on his foot that forced him to use crutches by the time camp came around. Two weeks before camp, we still didn't know if we would have enough funds to cover the cost of camp this year.

Thankfully no one was hurt in the car accident

But for every challenge that we faced, God gave the grace and strength that was needed to keep persevering. God provided NINE PERSONS who served as teachers or assistants for the first time this year! The young man who had been hospitalized recovered well and, although he had to work, was able to come to camp for a short while on Monday to help set up the serving stations for lunch. The car that was hit was repaired through the insurance at a reasonable price and was returned to the owner THE WEEK BEFORE CAMP! Despite those who could not have made it to camp, each class had at least two teachers and two assistants (with the exception of the adult class). By the time camp came around, we had enough donations to MORE THAN cover the cost of camp! We give God ALL THE GLORY for His faithfulness in answering our prayers! We met twice a week for prayer in the 5 weeks leading up to camp and it was amazing to see how He answered every single one of our requests regarding camp.

Last year we only had 3 guys who stayed
back late to put the school back in order. 
This year there were 13 plus some ladies!

 There were other ways that we saw God showing up in the lead up to camp. When we went to the market to buy the produce needed for some of the meals on camp, He prompted the security guard to show us favor in allowing us to park in an area normally reserved for vendors, so we didn't have to walk far with heavy market bags. As if this wasn't enough, the prices of the items we bought were cheaper than they had been the week before! On the day before camp, the internet went down at home; however we had been loaned a wireless internet device for camp so this was used to ensure that I was still able to co-ordinate all that needed to be done online. For the first time in a long time, we had the support of men from churches located in Point Fortin to help with the clean-up and preparation of the site prior to camp; thank God for these men who answered the call to serve, including the pastor who was on his hands and knees scrubbing mats!

Decorating their classroom
based on the theme for camp

The theme for camp this year was "God's Astronauts" and the aim was to encourage the campers to live holy lives in preparation for the return of Christ. The first session looked at Testing and Acceptance - what were the requirements needed to enter HASA? (our code name for heaven - the Heavenly Astronautical Space Administration) Campers were taught that it is only faith in Jesus that would guarantee their acceptance. On Monday afternoon they were taught about the Training necessary once we have been accepted by Christ - we need training to live godly in the midst of a perverse and evil world. The final lesson focused on Take off - that glorious day when Jesus would return for His children and take us to be with Him in heaven.

The teachers went all out to ensure that the craft their
classes did were in keeping with the theme and reinforced
the lessons learnt

This year the Expo Center was literally out of this world! It is at the Expo Center that the spiritual truths linked to the physical aspects of the theme are clearly illustrated. The Expo team blew everyone's mind this year with the construction of a planetarium out of PVC, cardboard and a mirror dome! Visitors were thrilled to view the following video which was projected on to the screen of the planetarium: God's Astronauts simulation  It created an indelible impression on all who viewed it, of how Jesus was launched from heaven to earth to save the world from the mess of sin that we were in, and what we have to look forward to when Jesus returns to take us to heaven. The members of the Expo team who put this video together had never done anything of this magnitude before, and we thank God for gifting them with the skills and talents needed to create it.

View from inside the Planetarium

On the first day of camp we had 376 persons, and 368 on the second day. Thanks to our kitchen team's strategy of having 3 serving stations, we were able to serve everyone in under one hour, leaving enough time for the teachers to get a break before the afternoon session. The largest class was the 13-15 year old class, with an average of 65 students! There were approximately thirty-five 16-21 year olds, which meant we had over 100 teenagers present at camp. This did not come without its share of drama, as there were 3 fights over the 2 day period, one which resulted in a young man's face getting badly swollen. There were also incidents of rudeness and disrespect to the teachers and refusal to participate in class activities. We had the support of the police as they sent a patrol when camp was closing off to ensure that there was no further violence.

We are grateful that these teens chose camp over Carnival

When camp was over and we were cleaning up, my mind started thinking back to all the negative behaviors that were brought to my attention during camp, and the thought that came to my mind was "failure". I knew that word was from the enemy, so I tried not to dwell on it, but I could not deny the nagging feeling that all the work we had put into camp was wasted. A little while later, one of the young men who was helping to clean up came up to me with a huge grin on his face and said, "Success!" I was confused so I asked him what he was talking about. He said that camp went really well and that a lot of children got saved. I thank God for using that young man to remind me that, in spite of the few badly behaved children, there were many others who were positively impacted by the Word that went out in camp, and many lives were added to the kingdom of God.

Quizzing the children to see what they learnt

Based on the feedback from the class teachers, the children understood the importance of leaving the heavy baggage of sin behind if they wanted to be God's Astronauts. In the 13-15 year old class, 13 students surrendered control of their life to Jesus over the two days of camp. In the adult class, one student indicated that this camp forced him to reconsider the life that he is living. Based on the discussions/information shared, he is going to be more serious in his relationship with the Lord. Camp was also an encouragement to the teachers, as one was reminded of the need to continue to live this earthly life with an eternal perspective. Another was encouraged to not become weary in doing good because heaven is closer than we think.

Presentation on Tuesday afternoon to reinforce the
lessons which were taught at camp

We thank God for another opportunity to share the good news of salvation with the children and adults who attended Ekklesia Camp 2025 and we are grateful to all who gave of their time to serve, those who donated cash or kind, and those who prayerfully carried us through. We are trusting God that the lives of all those who heard the Word will be transformed for eternity.

Being an Ambassador aboard the Logos Hope

The Logos Hope is known internationally as the largest floating book fair in the world. It is a huge ship with nine decks that was previously used to transport passengers, but now contains a book fair that carries more than 5000 different titles. However, many people do not know that the Logos Hope is more than just a place to get books at very reasonable prices. Its motto is to share knowledge, help and hope. Knowledge is shared through the book fair, but also through various events that are held on board or on shore by the crew. Help is given by the crew members who volunteer their services doing short-term projects on shore such as giving out free eye tests and reading glasses. Hope is spread through sharing the good news about Jesus with those who visit the book fair, and also through evangelistic events both on board and on shore.

The Logos Hope visited Tobago first for two weeks,
then stayed in Trindad for one month

Whenever the ship visits a country, they solicit local volunteers to serve on board while they are docked in that particular country. This is the third time that I have volunteered with the ship, having served during their previous visits in 2017 and 2020. When persons asked me why I kept coming back to volunteer, my answer was that I enjoyed serving with the ship ministry - whether it means having God-centered conversations with book fair visitors or putting books back in order on the shelves in the book fair or doing outreaches like school visits. I also enjoyed meeting the crew members from all over the world. For me it is a glimpse of what heaven will be like, with persons from every tribe, language and tongue worshiping God. Finally, I look forward to seeing persons who visit the book fair who I know well but have not seen in a very long time - it's like a reunion every time!

I also enjoy taking the crew members to places they
would not have gone on their own, like the Pitch Lake!

This year, I was assigned to serve as an Ambassador/Tour Guide. As an Ambassador, my role was to meet persons as they exited the Book Fair and offer to take them through the 'Journey of Life'. This consists of a series of pictures which tell a modern-day version of the story of the Prodigal Son. At the end of the 'journey' they are challenged to reflect on their lives in terms of their relationship with God. It also gives an opportunity to offer to pray for persons, and it was a blessing to be a listening ear as persons opened up about their personal struggles, and to be able to lift them up in prayer. There was one young lady who had grown up in church but had never before made a commitment to follow Christ, and after being asked she indicated that she was now ready to make that decision to surrender control of her life to Him. I also had the opportunity to lead a little girl to Christ, and to share the good news of salvation with many families from all different religious backgrounds.

Sharing in the 'Journey of life'

As a tour guide, my duties included taking visitors on a private tour of the ship outside of the Book Fair. On this tour, they were introduced to what it is like to volunteer on the ship as a crew member, as they were told about the training involved, shown the various departments they could work in, and even given a glimpse of the dining hall where the crew have their meals. They were also given a history of the previous ships that were used for ministry, and heard the story of how God miraculously provided the latest addition to the fleet, the Duolos Hope. They had been searching for a smaller ship for a while, but it was very expensive. In 2020 when the covid pandemic hit, the owner of the ship that is now the Duolos Hope went bankrupt, so he was willing to sell the ship for a fraction of the value!

The tour included a visit to the bridge allowing
visitors to see where the captain steers the ship

It was in this role that I had some of the most impactful experiences. There were some young university students who, after hearing about the work that the ship does outside of the Book Fair, expressed a desire to join the ship when they had completed their studies. There was another family who committed to making a monthly contribution towards the ship's expenses. Finally, there was a young man who, before the tour, was excited about the possibility of joining the ship. Halfway through the tour he realized what he had not known before; that it was operated by Christians, and this posed a problem because he was an atheist! This opened up an opportunity for me to question him about his beliefs, and to share what makes Christianity unique when compared to all other religions. He did not waver in his opinion, but I trust God that the seeds which were planted would grow and bear fruit and in the future.

Taking my family on the tour

Each local volunteer has the opportunity to join with the crew on their Connect Day - a day when they take a break from their regular work duties to engage in an evangelistic event. The group I was with journeyed to a primary school in Longdenville where we had the opportunity to do a gospel presentation to the entire school population, including the teachers. There were songs, a game and an object lesson showing how the only way to have true peace in your life is by having a relationship with Jesus, not just going to church or reading your bible. This message was God-ordained because, although the school is a denominational school, there is no emphasis on Jesus being the key component for salvation. Following that school visit our hosts took us for a delicious curry lunch, followed by a tour through the Central Range, complete with a stop at a cocoa estate where the Logos crew were able to see workers dancing the cocoa and taste some delicious local chocolate.

Talking with the some of the students afterwards

All local volunteers are required to participate in discipleship training program for two hours each day. During these sessions we learnt about principles for living in community, which was important for inter-cultural interactions; the need for more persons to be activated towards reaching the unreached; our identity in Christ; the ministry cycle using Jesus' training school as a model; having a prayer plan; how to transform communities; establishing Discovery Bible Studies and sharing your testimony. These sessions were rich and served to challenge us to deepen our walk with Christ, as well as giving us strategies we could implement in our discipling of others.

One of our beloved trainers conducting a session

I was truly enriched by the two weeks I spent volunteering on the Logos during this visit. I was able to reconnect with friends from Zimbabwe who I had met when the ship was here in 2017. I made new friends from other countries and heard their salvation stories and testimonies of how God called them into missions. I look forward with anticipation to when next I will have the privilege of serving with this wonderful ministry.

Who knows maybe one day they too
will join the ship as volunteers or crew!

Are you ready to die?

 In the past four months, five persons who I am close to have died suddenly. 

The details surrounding each death vary, but they all had one thing in common:

Nobody saw it coming.

For each person, they were fine one day, and gone the next.

We all know that we are going to die someday, but when they woke up that morning, none of them knew that would have been their last day here on earth. After hearing the news of the last sudden death, it caused me to reflect on my readiness for death. It's not a topic that many people are comfortable talking about, but the reality is that we do not know when we will die.

Paulene had no clue that her first in-person ISCF camp
would have also been her last

1. Get your spiritual life in order

Hebrews 9:27 says "... it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment" This judgment will be done by God and, contrary to popular belief, is not determined by how much 'good works' you have done. Instead, it is based on whether or not you have chosen to place your trust in Jesus Christ. According to John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Sin separated us from God, and Jesus took the punishment for our sin when He died on the cross, so we could be reconciled with God. When we put our faith in Jesus, we become His children (John 1:12), and have the sure hope of being united with Him when we leave this life (John 11:25).

For those of us who are Jesus followers, our responsibility is to do the work God has called us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Each of us has been given spiritual gifts, which God expects us to use to build up His Church (1 Corinthians 14:12). We also have the responsibility to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-14), sharing the good news of salvation with all in our spheres of influence.

If you have drifted away from God and you are living in sin, turn away from your sins and return to your First Love (Luke 15:18)

Pastor Kelvin never got to preach the
last sermon he prepared

2. Get your legal affairs in order

Daddy died without doing a will and it was a very tedious, expensive and lengthy process for us to get a Letter of Administration that would give Mummy access to his estate. Apart from making a will, ensure that you have listed a beneficiary on all your investments, and that your beneficiary knows how to access them. Ensure that your loved ones have the pin to your phone and your bank cards, and know where to find your important documents. They will already have to deal with the grief of your passing; try to make having to deal with all the paperwork after as easy as possible.

Getting the news of Carlyle's passing
was another shocker

3. Get your priorities in order

A trend I have been observing with growing concern is the amount of persons, especially young adults, who are experiencing fatigue and burn out as a result of the demands of their jobs. People are giving their blood, sweat and tears to companies who will easily replace them if they were to die suddenly. If your job is getting in the way of your enjoying a good quality of life, then I urge you to re-evaluate your priorities. No job is worth the cost of your mental and emotional well-being. Maybe you need to take a leap of faith and start your own business. Maybe you need to look for another job with a work environment that allows for a healthier work/life balance. No one, on their death-bed, has said that they wished they spent more time in work.

It is going to be so weird not to have Aunty Pam
in Ekklesia camp this year...

4. Get your relationships in order

God made mankind for relationships; this is not limited to marriage but includes all who are in our lives, both family and friends. Unfortunately because of sin, sometimes relationships can get messy and people can get hurt. If you have been hurt, do not let that hurt fester unaddressed, as this would keep you in a prison of unforgiveness. If you have hurt others, seek to make it right while they are still alive, so you would not have to live with the guilt of unforgiveness if they were to die suddenly. 

Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you while they are still around to hear it. Make the time to maintain the relationships that are important to you; don't wait until a special occasion like a birthday or anniversary to connect with your loved ones.

No one enjoys thinking about death, but since it is an inevitable reality of our human existence, it makes sense to prepare for it while we can.

The family vacation that could have ended with a drowning... but God!

 I have two sisters who live abroad and whenever one or both of them come to Trinidad, especially if they come for Christmas, we would plan to spend a few days in Tobago as a family. In recent years, it seems like Tobago has become more and more popular as a Christmas getaway for families from Trinidad, so it is difficult to get flights and accommodation, and there are more people on the beaches. When we my sister and her family planned to come home for Christmas last year, we decided to do something different and stay in a guesthouse in Blanchisseuse instead.

With a backyard pool and view of the sea it was the
perfect vacation spot

We began our journey on Christmas Eve, stopping off in Maracas on the way for bake and shark. The cousins played in the sand and got their toes wet on the shore. By the time we got to the guest house and unpacked they were ready to jump into the pool, where they stayed until dinner time. I don't have data on my phone and the wi-fi was not working properly, so I decided to use the opportunity to disconnect from the virtual world and focus on spending time with my family who were there with me. After the cousins went to bed, the Mummies wrapped Christmas presents while I entertained myself testing my brother-in-law's knowledge of Trini words and sayings. It was hilarious seeing his reaction when he realized that 'goat mout' had nothing to do with the mouth of a goat!

View from my bedroom window

The cousins arose bright and early on Christmas morning. My nephew was incredulous when he asked me where was the Christmas tree and I told him there was none LOL. We had devotions with them then we indulged in a luscious Trini Christmas breakfast complete with pastelles and ham and chow chow. The cousins opened their presents and played with them until it was time to go to the beach. We went first to the Spring Bridge, then settled at Marianne beach where the river entered the sea. We had a ball being slammed by the waves in the sea, and then plunging in the freezing cold river. The cousins thoroughly enjoyed catching tadpoles in the river and placing them in the aquarium they had made. When we returned home, they went straight into the pool until it was time for dinner. It was a wonderful water-filled day.

Devotions in the pool

Getting ready for the waves

Making sure the tadpoles don't escape

On Boxing Day we went on a hike to Avcoa waterfall. It took a bit longer with the children, especially when the path along the river was steep or we had to cross the river, but when we arrived it was all worth it. We had the waterfall all to ourselves and it was so peaceful being able to absorb the wonder of God's creation. When we returned to base, our gracious hosts provided us with a delicious lunch of dhal and rice and bhagi and the best curry chicken that my brother-in-law has ever tasted. We ended the day with more pool time until it got dark.

Green and serene

So happy to have had two of my siblings
along for the adventure (missed you Kathy!)

The last day was my niece's 8th birthday. She began her day opening birthday presents, and we headed to the pool after breakfast until it was time to pack up. On the way back home, we planned to stop off at Las Cuevas beach for a quick dip, but when we got there the car park was full and overflowing so we decided to head to Maracas beach instead. Just before we got there, my brother turned off at Tyrico Bay and asked me what I thought. The water looked calm and there were not a lot of people so we decided to stay there instead. That decision could have meant the difference between life and death for a family we had never met.

Getting ready to head into the water

Two of the cousins came into the water with four of the adults, while the other two played in the sand. It was mostly calm but every so often a wave would come that would lift us off our feet and put us back down. After a while, my brother took my nephew out to join his cousins on the sand, and my niece decided the waves were too rough so she went out. Shortly after, I heard a voice behind me saying "Mama! Go in!" When I turned there was a lady who was clearly not touching the bottom, and three others (her children) who were further out. I asked if she needed help and she didn't answer but by the look on her face she clearly did so I grabbed her hand and started swimming with her to shore. She kept saying, "My children! My children!" but my brother had gone to help them so I kept assuring her that they would be okay. My sister went to get help but there was nothing that anyone on the shore could have done.

Thankful to God that all the children were safe
on shore so we could have helped the family in distress

While I was swimming, I just kept praying that the lady I was helping would not start to panic because then I would have had to leave her. It took us a while to get to shore but God gave me the strength and we made it. It was only when I sat on the shore trying to catch my breath that it fully registered that we had been caught in a current. Meanwhile my brother had advised the lady's children to float on their backs and thank God they eventually drifted out of the current and were able to ride the waves to come back to shore. The family expressed their gratitude for what we had done for them, as they realized that what started off as a fun day on the beach could have ended very differently for them. I used the opportunity to share with them how I felt it was God who directed us to be on that beach at that time to help them, and also to share the gospel with them. I pray that the experience would cause them to surrender their lives to Jesus so whenever they do lose their earthly lives, they would be able to live eternally with God.

Our family vacation could easily have ended
very differently... but God!

Every morning when I have my devotions, I write one item of praise, and one item of prayer. Every day of our vacation, my prayer item was for safety: safety on the journey to Blanchisseuse, safety on the beach, safety on the hike, and safety on the journey home. God faithfully answered everyone of those prayers, and for that I am eternally grateful. I am also grateful for our parents, who never learnt how to swim themselves, but recognized the value of this skill so they ensured that we all learnt it at an early age. I do not know what lies ahead for our family in 2025, but I know that once we remain in tune with the leading of the Holy Spirit, we can rely on His faithfulness to see us through.

Enjoying our Christmas dinner

Having a Jesus Christmas!

Christmas has different meanings for different people. For some it is a time of gathering with family and loved ones. Others enjoy the hustle and bustle of putting their house in order and decorating. There are those who love shopping for others and are captivated by the lights and decorations on display. Then there is the food and music that is celebrated as a 'Trini Christmas'. Many Christians use the opportunity to share with others the message of Jesus coming to earth in the form of a human. This was necessary so He could pay the death-penalty for our sins, allowing those who put their trust in Him to have eternal life. This was the message that we shared with the children who came out to our Bible Club Closing Program early in December.

The regular attendees always invite their friends

For our church's Sunday School Christmas program, I was asked to share on the true meaning of Christmas. I was led to examine the biblical account of Jesus' birth, and to look at how those present responded to the news that Jesus was born. After seeing Jesus, the shepherds ran to share the news of His birth with others; the children were similarly challenged to share the message of Jesus' coming to earth with their friends. Just as the wise men brought gifts, the children were encouraged to give the gift of their lives to Him, and the gift of sharing His love with others by helping those in need.

Playing a game with the Sunday School children

Our church held a 'Carols by candlelight' service where we sang traditional Christmas carols but also songs of worship celebrating Christ. We were encouraged to invite our loved ones and the church was packed with regular attendees and visitors alike. There was an opportunity to gather in small groups and pray for one another. A clear presentation of the gospel was given, and an invitation was given for those who did not have a relationship with Jesus to commit their lives to Him. Someone I invited shared how she experienced a sense of peace at the service, something that she treasured after having experienced a particularly challenging year.

Doing one of the scripture readings

We normally celebrate someone's birth by giving them presents, but what can we give to the God of the universe? In Matthew 25:37-40 we are told that when we feed the hungry or clothe the needy or visit the sick, we are doing these things to the Lord. Our church distributes hampers to those in need during the year, but a great effort is made around this time of year to make them extra special so the recipients can feel the love of Christ. We also have the opportunity to pray for and encourage the families we deliver them to.

These hampers went all the way down south
along with gifts for the families with children

This year may we all experience not just a 'Merry Christmas' but a 'Jesus Christmas' - one in which He is central to our focus in terms of how we spend our time, how we live our lives, and how we dedicate ourselves to His serivce.

That time I was almost admitted to the psychiatric ward

On Friday 15th March 2024 I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 at the Eric Williams Medical Sciences Complex in Mt. Hope. This diagnosis was given because I was having a manic episode, where my mood was elevated to a degree that my loved ones knew was not my normal behaviour. I was more talkative and loud than usual, had higher levels of productivity where I was constantly working towards completion of my goals, had racing thoughts and a seemingly unlimited supply of ideas, and had not been sleeping properly for at least six weeks prior. There are a number of factors that act as triggers of Bipolar disorder including stressful events such as the death of a loved one. This is my story of how I got there...

This picture was taken a few days before
I went to the hospital

This year didn't begin on a very happy note for me. A close friend lost her father early in January. Another friend's father was very sick with cancer. Someone who I adopted as a father when my father died in 2021 was hospitalized with a serious health challenge, and surgery was not an option for him because of his age (94). I started reflecting on my life because this year was my 45th birthday, and I really don't have a desire to live until I get to be 100, so I figured my life was halfway done. I started to think about what I wanted to do with the other half of my life and the ideas just started pouring in. It was around this time that I started having difficulty sleeping at nights. I would go to bed but only sleep for 2 or 3 hours at a time. During this time of sleepless nights is when I developed the ideas for this blog that I shared on my 45th birthday 45 experiences over 45 years

I assumed that my insomnia was linked to the deaths earlier this year, because I had the same experience when Daddy died. I figured that since it was part of the grieving process, it would eventually go away. My medical doctor told me I sounded stressed and that I needed to slow down and pace myself. I slowed down as much as I could in the midst of planning Ekklesia camp, and after camp was over I took some beach therapy with my family. The beach is my happy place, and I found out that it is scientifically proven to help with relaxation, from the salt in the water and the air to the sound and movement of the waves.

Beach and sunset - what could be better?

The following week I joined ISCF for their school tours. We visited schools that either had an ISCF group, or were planning to start an ISCF group, and put on a program that included songs, drama, dance and testimonies. At the end of the program, the gospel would be shared, and the names of those who responded to the salvation call would be passed on to the ISCF clubs in the schools for follow up. After one of these presentations, a student from one of the schools shared some personal information with me, and I was advised that I needed to make a police report about it. I was traumatized by that experience, both by the treatment I received when the report was made, but also because felt like I was betraying the student's confidence, since they had confided in me. It was at this point that the symptoms of the manic episode became out of control.

When I could not sleep at night, I would get up and 
start writing my thoughts to get them out my head

I started calling people to tell them what had happened, going into details, but also jumping from story to story, so each phone call would last an average of two hours long. I was also very emotional, and would easily break down in tears. I would send a barrage of WhatsApp messages or long voice notes to my friends. I became loud and demanding. I said hurtful things to those closest to me. They tried to tell me that something was wrong with me, but I was convinced that they were just trying to stop me from the work God had called me to do. Everyone who was close to me was concerned about me, and no one knew what to do. But God did.

With Mother Dearest and her daughter Sadie after church

Sadie is a medical doctor who is furthering her medical studies in England. Long before I started experiencing any symptoms of bipolar disorder, Sadie booked her ticket to come to Trinidad to visit her family and friends, and it was the same week when my symptoms got out of control. Five minutes after meeting me she told her mother that I was having a manic episode, and needed to be taken to the hospital. Because of her experience working on the psychiatric ward, she recognized the symptoms right away and knew what needed to be done. For that entire week she listened and said nothing while I rambled on and on, and at the end of the week she said I needed to go to the hospital and I went without a fuss.

They put me on medication to calm me down so I could sleep

My friends and family really rallied around me during this time. Joey took me the hospital and Sadie explained to the doctors what was going on. Joey and Mother and stayed with me until Mummy could come up to be with me. My spirit sister and her husband drove all the way from Point Fortin and spent all night in the carpark waiting until they knew what was happening. The doctors did a CT scan and ran some blood tests before making the diagnosis. The doctors wanted to admit me to the psychiatric ward for observation, but I begged to be allowed to go home, and promised I would rest and take the medication if I was discharged. They were concerned about if Mummy would be able to handle the burden of taking care of me in my condition, but when she showed them how much support we had, they reluctantly agreed to let me go home.

In my own bed the day after my diagnosis instead
of having to be warded in a mental institution

Mummy was due to travel to the States the following week, but she pushed back her flight to ensure that I was in a stable place. I started having sessions with my psychologist to talk through the triggers that lead to my manic episode, and also to deal with unresolved issues I had from the past. She advised me to slow down on my ministry activities until my brain had a chance to rest and heal. I had regular visits with my psychiatrist to ensure that my body was responding well to the medication. When Mummy eventually had to leave, my sister Kathy came from England to stay with me until she returned.

We got to spend three glorious days in Tobago

I am so grateful to God for sparing me the additional trauma of being placed on a psychiatric ward, even though I had been diagnosed with a mental illness. I was able to be loved on and cared for by my immediate and extended family, and friends who are family. I was able to have the freedom to come and go as I pleased, without being restricted by hospital regulations. I was able to make regular visits to the beach, which has now become not just my happy place, but also my place of healing. I am also grateful to those who prayed me through when they found out about my diagnosis, and those who would check in with me on a regular basis. 

My little sister also supported even though she 
wasn't physically here

I am doing much better now; I am no longer on the antipsychotic medication, only on a low dosage of mood stabilizers. My speech and behaviour are back to normal, and my thoughts no longer keep me up at nights. I am believing God for a full and complete recovery. I have learnt a lot of lessons along this journey, which I will share in a subsequent blog post. I shared this verse to encapsulate what 2023 meant for me, but it is still very relevant to my experiences this year:

Psalm 71:20

Though you have made me see troubles,

    many and bitter,

    you will restore my life again;

from the depths of the earth

    you will again bring me up.

Adventures in South Korea

When I decided that I would be attending the Fourth Lausanne Gathering in South Korea I did not know how I was going to get there; I left that up to God. I knew from past experience that if He wanted me to be somewhere, He would make the way possible and take care of the details. The first detail He had to take care of was the conference fee. There was a discount of $100US if this fee was paid before the end of 2023. I did not share this with anyone, so imagine my surprise when, in November 2023, one of my ministry partners presented me with a financial gift that enabled me to pay the entire registration fee! This was the first sign that God was providing for me to attend this Gathering.

I loved exploring the green spaces close to the Convention
Center before the start of the sessions each morning

Since I knew for sure now that I was going, I started sharing with persons who were close to me about my plan to attend the conference in South Korea. In February when I shared it with one friend, she said that God had laid it on her heart to give me a certain amount of money and she was not sure why; talk about God answering before we even call! I told her that I still needed to pay for accommodation, and I didn't know it at the time because I had not booked the hotel as yet, but the amount she gave was sufficient to cover the cost!

View of the sunrise from outside my hotel window

I started getting excited because now all that was outstanding was the airfare, and I already had one supporter who committed to covering half of the journey. However in March I received a health diagnosis that made it uncertain whether or not I would still be in a position to attend the Gathering. By God's grace, supported by the prayers of the saints and the help of the medical professionals, I was declared fit to travel by May, so my tickets were booked and in September I was on my way to South Korea! (During that period another supporter had offered to pay for the other half of my journey 😁)

Being greeted by some character in the airport at Incheon

Because of the number of participants in the Gathering, we were staying at different hotels which were scattered around Incheon, and I did not know of any of my friends who were staying at my hotel. After checking in and taking my bags up to the room, I went to the basement to get something to eat. It was late, so when I finished I was about to head back up to my room but I felt prompted to stop off in the lobby. Imagine my surprise when I saw my friend Martha from Papau New Guinea whom I had not seen since the Younger Leaders Gathering in Indonesia eight years ago! We had kept in touch over the years and she has been such a wonderful support to me, praying for me and encouraging me in the wee hours of the morning when everyone else in Trinidad was fast asleep.

It was such a joy to see her in person

The next morning we met up for breakfast, and at the table we sat at we met Liliana from Colombia. She had come in the day before, spent the day exploring Seoul, and was planning to go out again to see other tourist attractions. We were very elated to hear this, because we wanted to go sight seeing too but had no idea where to go! She was happy for us to accompany her and took us to change currency and get travel cards and soon we were on the train headed into Seoul.

It was Martha's first time on a train 😊

We didn't speak a word of Korean but thankfully we live in an age of technology 😏 Using apps we were able to navigate to our first location - Myeondong market - which was packed with stalls selling everything you could think of from food to clothing to electronics to jewelry. We browsed and bought souvenirs to take back home. We were also brave enough to try Korean street food and it was really delicious.

Trying ah ting wit de people dem chopsticks

Koreans are so helpful to tourists. After we finished at the market, we wanted to visit the Namsan Tower but the directions were kind of confusing. We asked someone for help but the translation app wasn't doing a very good job in enabling us to understand what he was saying. When he realized we were clueless, he decided to lead us in the direction of our destination, which was in the opposite direction that he was headed in! The Namsan Tower is located at the top of a mountain, which you can either choose to walk up, or take a cable car to get to the top. It was so peaceful riding above the tree tops, and the view from the top was incredible.

Taking in the view at the top

Our last stop for the day was Starfield Library which was located in the middle of a huge shopping mall. This library is popular for its 13 meter tall bookshelves and over 50,000 books and magazines available for reading. After checking out the library we had dinner then headed back to our hotel. It was late when we got the bus to take us to the hotel and we were the last people on it, so we were talking and laughing until the bus driver said, "Excuse me, could you speak softer please?" It was then that we realized that their culture was not as boisterous as ours. It was a good thing we were almost at our hotel because we had to fight the urge to laugh out loud for getting buffed from a Korean bus driver 😂

Escalator in the middle of Starlight library ands
bookshelves all the way to the ceiling!

On the last day of the conference, we had half a day to do some more exploring. This time, Martha and I were joined by Sindy from Guadeloupe. We decided to take a bus tour around Incheon instead of going back into Seoul since we all had early morning flights the next day. One of the volunteers from the conference was very helpful in directing us to where we had to meet the tour bus, and we went to the top deck so we could get a good view of the architecture as we drove past it.

Massive skyscrapers

We decided to get off at the fourth stop which was the beach, and just spend some time relaxing there and enjoying nature. It was a beautiful place to pause and be at peace after the hectic pace of the conference. When it started getting late, we headed back to our hotel and went to a nearby restaurant to check off one item from my bucket list - eating Korean Barbecue in Korea! It was fun cooking our meal, but the serving size was so huge we struggled to finish it all.

Photoshoot at the beach

Waiting for the barbecue to cook

There was a bit of drama the next morning when I was about to leave the hotel to go to the airport. When I went outside to meet the shuttle, I was informed that it was full and there was no room for me, Sindy and a couple others. I was annoyed because I had booked my space in the shuttle long in advance, and I was sure that there were people in the bus who had come at the last minute. Sindy calmed me down enough to help me realize that we had options, so we called an Uber and were able to make it to the airport in  time.

Saying goodbye at the airport; I now have a friend
who lives in France 😁

It was actually more time consuming for me to leave South Korea than when I arrived. First I had to prove to them that I had a return ticket to Trinidad (since I had a Trinidad and Tobago passport but was boarding a flight to the UK). Then there were three sets of lines that we had to pass through before getting to the gates. I am thankful that I didn't take up the hotel's offer of waiting until the airport shuttle dropped off the passengers it had and then returned for me, because I surely would have missed my flight. Initially I was apprehensive about sight-seeing in South Korea because I didn't know anyone to take me around and I wasn't sure that I would be able to navigate on my own but God provided a Colombian, a Papaun and a Guadeloupean to ensure that I was not alone on my adventures there 😊

Dragon design on the Sungnyemun Gate 
which was part of the Seoul City wall